Seinfeld’s George Costanza is a hilarious character to watch from the safety of the other side of the screen, but let’s be honest: if you knew him in real life, you’d hate him. These days, it’s common for TV shows to dig into the lives of bad people. Pretty much everyone inThe Sopranosis a violent sociopath who cheats on their spouse and kills without remorse.Breaking Bad’s Walter White is a mild-mannered chemistry teacher who gradually transforms into a murderous monster. And “The Gang” inIt’s Always Sunny in Philadelphiahave no moral compass whatsoever.
But back whenSeinfeldinstituted a “no hugging, no learning” policy, it was a novelty for a hit TV show to star unlikable characters. Jerry stole a marble rye from a defenseless old lady on the street. Kramer burned down Susan’s cabin. Allthe characters inSeinfeldwere flawed, but the most duplicitous and unscrupulous one of them all was George. George lied habitually, held onto petty grievances for years, and thanks to his neurosis, he managed to turn even the simplest interaction into an exhausting ordeal. George is a classic sitcom character, but he’d be a terrible friend.
10George’s Row Over A Parking Space
In season 3, episode 22, “The Parking Space,” while George was attempting to back into a parking spot in front of Jerry’s building, one of Jerry’s other friends tried to swoop in front-first. George then proceeded to spend the whole rest of the day in a tense standoff with the other driver. It would be exhausting to be friends with something who’s this aggressively petty. George’s refusal to let anything go would quickly become a nightmare. Jerry has the patience of a saint to put up with it (although it helps that George’s antics amuse him to no end).
9George Pushing Women & Children Out Of The Way To Escape A Fire
George dated a woman with a young son in season 5, episode 19, “The Fire,” and got invited to the kid’s birthday party. When a fire broke out in the kitchen, George shoved his way past women, children, and the elderly to be the first out the door. He later claimed that he was leading the way, but he was clearly just scared and pushed everyone else out of his way. Not everyone can be expected to have grace under pressure, but George proved here that he’s a coward who would save himself before even considering anyone else.
8George Buying A Toupée
George bought himself a toupée in season 6, episode 16, “The Beard,” and not only did it look ridiculous; it turned him into a monster. George was bad enough when the whole world was against him, but when he made himself more attractive and gained a bit of confidence, he became insufferable. His friends were embarrassed to be around him and they hated what he’d become. Elaine did him a favor when she snatched the piece off his head and threw it out the window.
7George Eating Out Of The Trash
In season 6, episode 6, “The Gymnast,” George showed one of his more admirable qualities when he met his girlfriend’s mother. He charmed the mother with his affable people skills and it put him in his partner’s good books. However, that great first impression was quickly reversed when the mother caught George eating a discarded chocolate éclair out of the garbage can. A willingness to eat food out of the trash is indicative of a general lack of shame. Being friends with someone who eats trash would inevitably lead to uncomfortable questions and having to defend their bizarre actions.
6George Parking In A Disabled Spot
George’s friends suffered dire consequences for being associated with him in season 4, episode 22, “The Handicap Spot.” As George was struggling to find a parking space, Kramer encouraged him to park in an accessible parking space. When they got back to the car, they found that an angry mob had trashed it and was waiting for them to come back. If they didn’t manage to sneak around the mob, then Jerry, Elaine, and Kramer would’ve all been savagely beaten just for being George’s friend.
5George Going On A Date With Marisa Tomei While Engaged
In the season 7 two-parter “The Cadillac,”George found out that he was just Marisa Tomei’s typeand got set up on a date by a mutual acquaintance. There was just one problem: he was already engaged to Susan. It would be bad enough to be friends with someone who would gladly go on a blind date behind their fiancée’s back, but George made it even worse for his friends by involving Elaine in his web of lies. George concocted a convoluted cover story and forced Elaine to keep up the lie to Susan’s face.
4The Human Fund: Money For People
Season 9, episode 10, “The Strike,” is best known for popularizingFrank Costanza’s Festivus celebrations. But it also had a great B-plot in which George avoided buying his co-workers a Christmas present by giving them a card saying he’d made a donation in their name to a fake charity called “The Human Fund.” George should’ve come clean when his boss handed him a $20,000 check made out to The Human Fund, but George was actually going to keep the money intended for charity before he was found out.
3George Getting A Job By Pretending To Have A Disability
When George was using a cane while recovering from an injury in the season 9 premiere, “The Butter Shave,” he landed a job from an employer who didn’t want to seem prejudiced against the disabled. After receiving special treatment and a private bathroom, instead of correcting the mistake, George kept up the facade of being disabled. Pretending to be disabled to get preferential treatment from his co-workers is one ofthe most unscrupulous things George ever did. If he was your friend, it would be tough to stick by him.
2George’s Flirtation With A Neo-Nazi
Jerry and George got a lot more than they bargained for when they stole a limousine ride in season 3, episode 19, “The Limo.” It turned out that the passenger they stole the ride from — the man George was impersonating — was a notorious white supremacist leader. When they were joined by one of his fanatical far-right goons, George quickly fell for her and started flirting in character. Jerry had to keep reminding George that she was a Nazi, but he didn’t seem to mind selling out his belief in equality and human rights just because a woman showed some interest.
1George Having No Reaction To Susan’s Death
George was responsible for a lot of embarrassing moments and social faux pas throughoutnine seasons ofSeinfeld, but this was the scene that suggested he didn’t have a soul. All throughout season 7, George was desperate to get out of his impulsive engagement to Susan Ross. In the season 7 finale, “The Invitations,” he unwittingly found a way to call off the wedding without having a difficult conversation. He bought the cheapest envelopes on the market for his wedding invitations, and while Susan was licking them, the inexpensive glue poisoned and killed her.
When George found out Susan had died, he didn’t react with shock or sadness or even the slightest concern — he didn’t have any emotional reaction at all. If anything, he was holding back his joy over the fact that he would no longer have to get married. This is the most definitive proof fromSeinfeld’s run that George would be a terrible friend. If he didn’t experience the emotions of anger and anxiety, he would be a complete sociopath incapable of feeling anything. George is a lot of fun to watch onSeinfeld, but you wouldn’t want to know him.
